Even after all this time,
You can’t face me and say you love me
I guess it’s for the best
I don’t like to show my feelings anyway
I don’t know how I would react
Or what I would say
You were never the emotional type right
But I saw you show kindness and love to others all the time
I was always the broken child
The lonely child
The one who felt like I didn’t belong
I turned to others for what you should have given me
What you should of expressed
But even then I was so wrong
Sometimes I just want to scream
Scream why don’t you love me
Why don’t you care?
I thought this was supposed to be unconditional
I thought I was supposed to be your little girl
I was always jealous of my friends
How their fathers loved them how they cared
They were their little princesses
But I, I was just invisible.
I craved your attention, but I got the wrong kind
Mama always said it was fine that there was nothing wrong
That I shouldn’t speak, I shouldn’t say no
I should just listen and accept because that’s how you love.
Love isn’t supposed to hurt I learnt that the hard way
You set me up to fail.
I thought there was something wrong with me
I let boys treat me badly
I let them take away me from me
Because you never showed me what real love is
And I was grasping on to anything, to everything
Until it slowly killed me.
But I am not that little girl anymore
Yes I wish you would show me you cared
But I don’t need a man to tell me my self worth
I don’t need a man to define who I am
You say you don’t like the person that I have become
But I am stronger than I have ever been before.
I am a better me.
I am a product of your dysfunctional love.